Every Moment Counts

Last Christmas was one of the best and worst of my life. I had just completed the most brutal semester of my college career. I was physically exhausted, emotionally spent, and devastated financially. 

To make matters worse, I didn't have much to offer my boys that Christmas morning and I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and failure. Don't get me wrong, thanks to the love and support of fantastic family and friends my boys were not forgotten, and I'm keenly aware and incredibly grateful for the countless blessings in our lives. But this was a time of unknown transition, and the ugly truth was that I felt like I was failing my boys. 

As we sat around the tree that Christmas morning, I felt the anxiety lift for a moment as peace and gratitude settled into my heart. 

And then Parker said it . . . a single sentence that changed everything. "I just realized that next Christmas will be my last Christmas at home". And just like that, the anxiety returned as moments from Parker's life flashed through my mind. 

When my boys were little, I remember wanting to speed time up. I couldn't wait until they were out of diapers, over Barney, or sleeping through the night. Nothing drastic, just the lofty dreams of a young mother. And then, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, my babies turned into teenagers and I felt our current circumstances were robbing us of the little time we had left together.

Parker's "casual" statement last Christmas morning became a stark reminder that our time was limited. Since then, I have determined that I will make every moment count. I will let go of my fears, savor our time, and act rather than be acted upon.

At last, Parker, Tyler, and I are enjoying a long overdue vacation in Kauai. We're having amazing experiences that I never dreamed of having. And the best part is . . . we're having them together!

The Perfect Pairing

Perfect pairings are obviously subjective. Generally, they refer to culinary topics and are described as two flavors that, when combined, create a totally different and extraordinary sensory experience. 

For some, it's peanut butter & jelly or cookies & milk. I'm partial to rosemary & lemon or salt & caramel. At our house, perfect pairings venture beyond the palate.

For us, Halloween & weapons are considered to be a universal and perfect pairing. 

Full disclosure: As a young mother, I was certain that I wouldn't be "that kind of mom". You know the one. The mom whose heathenesque male offspring roam the neighborhood attacking small animals, terrorizing children, and end up in jail . . . or the armed forces. 

Nope. I was going to teach my boys a kinder, more gentle way of living. Together we would create a world that was devoid of "alpha's", blunt instruments, and thoughtless expression. Yes, in my world, conflict would be resolved through balanced conversation and mutual respect.  

Two boys and nearly 18 years later reveal a slightly adjusted viewpoint: a virtual arsenal of toy weapons amassed, collected, and hoarded over the years (don't judge me).  

And while I'm no "gun nut" or "weapons enthusiast", I must confess that I have come to look forward to Halloween because I know that I will receive at least one request to build or create a weapon as part of their latest costume. For me and my boys, this has been a consistent way to connect and create unique memories that have strengthened our relationships long term. 

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How to Change the World

Have you ever wanted to make a difference?  Spend 10 minutes watching the news and it's likely that you'll be left feeling depressed, overwhelmed, and  wondering if it's even possible for one person to change the world.

The good news is that it is absolutely possible to change the world. Watch the video to find out how.

When Premature Aging is a Good Thing

Let's face it, no one appreciates aging prematurely unless you want to make a little magic. This simple and versatile aging technique will add character and depth to any project, leaving you with an appreciation for to the perfectly imperfect.

Let's face it, no one appreciates aging prematurely unless you want to make a little magic. This simple and versatile aging technique will add character and depth to any project, leaving you with an appreciation for to the perfectly imperfect. www.fireflyforestdoors.com

Conquering the Conical Roof (No Math Needed)

I'll admit it, I'm not a "goal setter". Not in the traditional sense anyway. For me, structured goal setting followed a pretty predictable path that often resulted in varying degrees of failure.

By the time I was 25, I recognized an emerging pattern. The goals on my latest list were basically the same as the previous years list: Eat less junk. Workout more. Pray more. Get more sleep.

Now I'm not saying that the goals on my lists weren't worthy of achieving, however, it was abundantly clear that I obviously lacked the motivation to act (hence the failure to progress). And so I did what any reasonable person would do, I set a goal not to set goals (just kidding), but I did make a conscious choice to first focus on the why behind my desire to improve. That understanding led to a much different approach to my personal development which became gradual and ongoing.

Whether the goal seems simple or overwhelming, some things are certain, all successes require the willingness to act, dedicated time, focused effort, and the willingness to fail. For many of us, its the first step that can be the most difficult. It's easy to become overwhelmed with all of the potential challenges or obstacles standing in your way, but don't be discouraged, it's the process, the experience that ends up becoming just as valuable as accomplishing the goal itself.

When it comes to overcoming challenges, have you ever wondered where to start? For some, building a conical roof is just as challenging as climbing Mt. Everest.

Trolls & Ogres Redefined

A quick Google search for Ogres and Trolls yields an abundance of images depicting Trolls & Ogres. Terrible, Oafish, Ugly, Hard, and Horrible are just a few words that come to mind when trying to describe these horrific beasts.

Have you ever considered that these creatures might be representations of personality or behavioral traits? Do you know someone that behaves like an Ogre? Have you ever acted like a Troll? Watch the video and learn how Trolls & Ogres can be redefined.

Stinkin' Thinkin'

Ever heard of stinkin’ thinkin’? In psychology, stinkin’ thinkin’ refers to the internal dialogue that each of us engages in. More specifically, it is our negative inner voice.

I rather prefer how C.S. Lewis brings this concept to life allegorically in The Great Divorce. The “toxic voice” is depicted in the form of a tiny red lizard sitting on the shoulder of a man, whispering into his ear. He constantly reminds his human of his weaknesses and failures, reinforces his insecurities, and interferes with potentially positive messages and opportunities for change. With the help of an angel, the man ultimately chooses to go through the agonizing pain of removing his lizard. And though the procedure nearly kills him, like a Phoenix he is reborn, renewed, and free to become his true self.

Who hasn’t spent some time indulging our lizard? Sometimes it just feels good to give in and affirm our misery. Unfortunately, the more we listen, the larger this little bugger grows and before we know it, the negative message pollutes our thinking and affects our behaviors. The inescapable reality is that we cannot positively affect anyone or anything while we’re wallowing in the mire.

I admit, that I still occasionally feed my lizard. But I've discovered there are those who, like the angel in Lewis’s story, are willing to help us pull our lizards off so we can get to work becoming who we're meant to be.

To all the lizard pullers in my life (you know who you are) . . . thank you.

Elevator pitch in Firefly Forest

Some say that crafting the perfect elevator pitch is essential for all business professionals.

The idea involves having a 30-60 second summary of who you are and why you’re an asset to a potential employer at the ready, should fate provide a captivated audience (usually because they’re trapped in a confined space that prevents their exit, escape, or exodus – like an elevator).

With that in mind, imagine having only 30 seconds or 3x5 inches of space to convince an enchanted creature to come out and play. How would you convince them that you’re worth the risk?

Would you impress them with a list your most appealing attributes? Or attempt to persuade the creature with a compelling argument? Perhaps a little reverse psychology? 

#Fireflyforest #Kindnessbeginswithme #Whatwillyoucreate

 

Growing Fairies with The Littles

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Though the days of midnight installations and covert operations are long gone, I am thoroughly enjoying sharing the experience with others. I got some big help installing the mushroom from Millie and Finn. 

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret, magical creatures are a lot like the baseball players in the movie A Field of Dreams, they simply need a place to gather. You provide the space and they do the rest. Any space that is rooted in love and fueled by imagination can become a place where magical and amazing memories are made.

Becoming Authentically Happy

Finding Your Authentic Self

Maya Angelou famously said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

This is one of my favorite quotes because it reminds me that each one of us leaves a mark on those that we interact with. And it leads to another more personal question: What kind of mark am I leaving on others?

Over the past year, I have had contact with many people who either want to become happy or want to positively affect others. Both are worthy pursuits that on the surface seem to be goals independent of the other. But they are, in fact, inseparably connected.  And more, they are manifestations of authenticity.  

So, what is authenticity and how does one achieve it? Authenticity is a person’s understanding the true self, genuinely accepting his true self, and then sharing that true self with others fearlessly.

Keep in mind that if living authentically were simple, everyone would be doing it. Acquiring a true understanding of self cannot not be accomplished in a weekend, nor is it a destination in its own right. Rather it is a constant journey, an evolution of depth perception and perspective fueled by our experiences. The caveat is that in order to be effective, the process requires HONEST inquiry coupled with a willingness to forgive, accept, and love one’s self.

As I continue my own journey towards a better understanding of self, I have come to believe that understanding one’s self is the first, and potentially most problematic step on the road to authentic happiness. Why? In order to share our true self, we must first understand who are true self is. And there in lies the problem. I think we can all agree that honestly acknowledging why we behave the way we do can be uncomfortable and overwhelming. After all, self deception (varying degrees of lies you tell yourself to make you feel better about a perceived fear or failure) exists to protect us from having to face uncomfortable truths.

Honest assessment is made more difficult because we each have a subjective perception of past events, which is further complicated by the critical inner voice born of our deepest darkest insecurities. For many of us, it is our inner voice that is the most critical, fearful, and unforgiving. It perpetuates untruths, holds us hostage, and halts our individual progression towards becoming authentically happy.

The process of honest assessment is difficult-downright painful, time consuming and may require the help of a good therapist but the resulting reward is priceless. Forgiveness of self often leads to forgiveness of others, compassion for self leads to compassion for others, and acceptance of self leads to acceptance of others. In the end, you are positively affecting the world and becoming authentically happy.

Smiling and feeling happy

Did you know that smiling is more than a universal way to communicate and express emotion? Research has shown that smiling not only has the power to improve your own mood, but the mood of those that witness you smile. And just like a gift that keeps on giving, smiles are also contagious. 

Oh sure, I could impress you by citing a myriad of complex studies that support the claim but if you’re anything like me, you might find that discussing research and smiling are negatively correlated (that’s for you John). 

The bottom line is that choosing to smile costs nothing and produces happy feelings for you and those around you. 

One of my favorite things about Firefly Forest was that no matter how I was feeling when I entered the Forest, in the end I left smiling.

Firefly Forest Doors are like portals to new worlds and are beautiful symbols for life's most significant passages. These lovingly hand-crafted doors  make wonderful gifts for birthdays, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and any occasion celebrating stepping into new realms and new experiences. Select your special door today!